Over the weekend I attended a fab pajama party with many ladies I had never met before. My wonderful friend Lori, a fellow Metro Mom, hosted it for a bunch of us. What a great time!!! Saturday morning I attended a bridal shower for my best friend from elementary school. Jennifer and I have been friends for FIFTEEN years -- Isn't that crazy!?! Saturday night, I caught up with two more good friends over a glass or three of wine ;) Yes, my weekend was fantastic (and kuddos to my awesome husband for being a trooper with my babies while I was gone!), but there is more purpose to this post than sharing last weekend's agenda, which brings me to my topic for today:

It was not until I was married and had children that I really understood how to be a good friend and all that it entails.

Girlfriends are so important -- I really do not think I could survive without them. Husbands and children are wonderful, but good friends play a vital role in my life. I personally look for quality over quantity. I have 3 best friends. As it works out, they are from three very different, but challenging times in my life: high school (Shanelle), college (Andrea), and post-college/marriage/babies (Ashley). Neither of these girls happen to know each other very well, and don't have much in common with the others. They each have a very special role in my life, that is unique to the experiences we've had together. Shanelle introduced me to my husband (7 years ago), Andrea stuck by me in Stillwater while I was pregnant with Ady (Dave was working his hiney off), and Ashley was the nurse and friend that coached me through the pregnancies and labor of my boys. My relationship with each of them has taught me more about myself, and continues to evolve as we go through our lives.

Before Dave and I got married, I was not a good friend. I didn't even really know what that meant. I was too busy chasing after him (and others before him) to realize I destroyed a lot of friendships in the process. After we got married and had Ady, I realized how isolating the life of a SAHM can be. I am by nature an introvert -- blame it on being an only child. I didn't like to talk on the phone, I initially felt really uncomfortable around people I didn't know, and I was really insecure about a lot of things -- crazy, huh?

Anyone that knows my husband knows that he is EVERYBODY's best friend. No, really. Dave is still friends with his kindergarten classmates. Anytime we go out of town, he immediately calls old friends to visit, he stays in touch with everyone in his phone contact lists (there are hundreds), and will go hang out with (random) people he met at the gym. He is outgoing, loyal, and confident -- that's what drew me towards him in the first place :)

It's taken five years, but I now have a new perspective. I took small steps at first, by involving Ady in activities that would surround me with others like me. We participated in MOPS, story time at the library, gymnastics, etc. That blossomed into more opportunities to get out an meet others. Now I am involved in many diverse activities, that don't necessarily revolve around the children, but benefit them just as much. At first it took a lot of effort to change my behavior, but now it's second nature. I have met and enjoyed the company of lots of new friends, reconnected with old ones, and look forward to meeting more.