Something struck a heart chord with me yesterday.

Let me start at the beginning. I am not a good "anniversary person". By "anniversary person", I mean recording the dates of meaningful events of my life, to reflect on from year to year. Of course, I know our birthdays, but I record very little in between. I don't know the date Dave and I got engaged -- I don't really know the month to be quite honest. I don't know what age Ady cut her first tooth or when Cade switch to solids. The day to day of life is a little bit busy for us. As the kids get older, I seem to forget more.

I know all this can be taken to the extreme, (and no, we will not be celebrating the day that Hunter first poops in the potty for years to come). But as a parent, with growing children, I marvel at their baby books and photo albums. The greatest part about it is remembering where you came from, and dreaming about where you are going.

So here's the kicker (when I read this I could feel my stomach in the back of my throat):

While responding to a Facebook message of an old friend yesterday, I was reading the feed of our conversation that has gone on for years. This message (written by me) knocked me off my feet:

May 18, 2007
Hey ____! I really miss you! I wanted to give you an update on what's going on here. Yesterday afternoon things started going really bad with the baby and got worse and worse overnight. As is turns out, we lost it. I am super sad and so is Dave! Just makes me want to not take Adyson for granted at all- we are so thankful for her- not that we weren't before, but I def see things differently now. We really need some prayer sent our way! Love and miss you tons!

May 17th was a day that changed us forever. How did I not etch this day in my heart? Why are we so hesitant to talk about, remember, or memorialize this. It was so incredibly painful, that we have probably not spoken about it since it happened. It kills me. We have been going about our business for the past 5 years, acting as if nothing happened.

Our baby would be 5 this year. So many emotions go along with that statement.

From this day, on I vow to keep a journal, even if I only write one sentence in it a week. I vow to cherish the time in between those "memorized" dates, and make record of them. This time we have with our children is so fleeting. I can't stand to reflect on what I've already forgotten. In all the chaos of everyday life, we must have a reminder of those special moments.